Ep. XXXIV: 'Noel' - Joan Baez

How for art thou, lovers of jams?

Album Title:  Noel

Album Artist:  Joan Baez

This one's another Radio Wasteland score, guys, and for a mere $3, I figured 'why the hell not?'  Joan Baez is a legend, a folk singer who has as much musical street cred as Bob f***ing Dylan, and as such I assumed a Christmas album by a talented folk artist would make a nice addition to my ever-expanding Holiday record collection.  And again:  $3.

This one basically sounded just as I thought it might.  Baez's voice sounds exactly as it does on her mainstream songs - that high-pitched tremolo of hers - and the album (for being as old as it is) has some really nice depth to it.  The recording on this album is well done:  very sparse, to the point where you can almost hear how far back they placed the microphones in the room.  I looove that with quieter arrangements on vinyl.

Anyway, the song selection is also pretty much as-could-be-expected.  Don't expect Joan Baez to break into folksy versions of 'Frosty the Snowman' or 'Up on the Housetop' on this LP; hell, I'd wager Baez is the sort of person who maintains a level of deep pensiveness on an out-of-control rollercoaster.  On fire. 

No, the songs on this collection definitely plays to her demeanor:

What did raise an eyebrow, for me, was the style of arrangement for these standards:  this music sounds straight out of a Renaissance festival.  It almost passes off as the soundtrack to a movie where an ultra-hip folk singer from the '60s Greenwich Village scene stepped into a payphone booth and suddenly - and unexpectedly - traveled back in time to Ye Olde Medieval Europe.  And, because it's Joan Baez, she didn't so much as utter a sigh of agitation after the whole ordeal.  No, instead, she just continues to sing all folks-ily to the people gathered around her as if nothing at all out of the ordinary had transpired (although she probably adjusts her subject matter slightly as to not give the local peasantry cause to think her a witch, lest she be burned at the stake.) 

This album caused a "What the hell are you listening to?" from Kris as she passed through the Study this evening.  I mean, Baez's singing is an acquired taste for most, but in addition to that we've got harpsichords, lutes, bells, fiddles, pan flutes, actual harps, and all other instruments straight out of the Middle Ages on this LP.  And when coupled with ol' Joan's given song choices ("Cantique de Noel," which is sung in frickin' French, "Ave Maria," sung in German, "Down in Yon Forest," "Good King Wenceslas," etc. etc.), one's led to believe that this whole time-travel-to-the-Medieval-Era yarn of mine might have actually happened.  The subject matter and execution of the delivery is too perfectly matched to be a coincidence.

Rest assured, if time travel is ever invented, I'd be tempted to travel back to the 1300s with copies of this LP on hand, 'cause I guarantee they'd sell like frickin' hot cakes.

VERDICT:  6/10 - Decent  (Baez is Baez, but the Medieval-ness of this music can take some getting used to.  Still, it's interesting enough to keep around throughout the rest of the Season, so I'm going to make an exception of my 7-and-up rule.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

Ep. XI: 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' - Ray Conniff/ 'God Rest Ye Merry Jazzmen' - Various Artists

 Album Title:  We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Album Artist:  Ray Conniff and the Ray Conniff Singers

One look at this album and you can't help but chuckle to yourself.  "Are these guys serious?  How campy is this record?"

It does come across so, for sure; this album is one part Christmas carol medleys, one part the Hobbit's Glenn Yarbrough, one part Barbarella, one part CBS' Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and two parts early '60s London swing.  You intrigued yet?  You should be, folks.  Is this indeed a strange mix?  Definitely.

But, believe it or not, it works.

Swingers (I especially like the creepy due in the middle, copping a feel.  For Baby Jesus.)

I like this one.

No idea who 'Dottie' is. . .

This album - like the cover art suggests, is a lot of fun.  Its total '60s cheesiness, but it relishes in it, and, like other albums I've reviewed so far, it does it so well embracing its roots that it holds up.

This album's collection of carols and holiday medleys ranges from early folk arrangements (pre-Dylan Greenwich Village folk. . . the kind of folk that didn't scare parents back in the day), to jazzy Yuletide renditions, to straight-up early '60s R & B and Shuffle.  The vocalists lead the songs instead of overpowering them, and to listen to it - ignoring the 'Singers' title on the front cover - you wouldn't think you were listening to a vocal album.  The music itself holds up and then some:  I'm a big fan of these medleys.

. . .is he doing a magic trick?

Dated?  Yeah, of course it is; if it's one thing the '60s did well, it was give their holiday tunes a signature 'sound.'  On this album, the folky accoustic guitar comes and goes, as does the full marching band, the orchestra, and the little collection of South-of-the-Border mariachi players.

If it sounds random, that's 'cause it is.  By all rationale, one shouldn't have a mariachi band playing The First Noel here, only to have a heavy folk rendition of Twelve Days of Christmas appear on the same side of the record.  But Ray Conniff does it.

I don't even know who the hell Ray Conniff is, but I'm a big fan of his now.  This album kicks ass.

VERDICT:  9/10 - Cowabunga! (A pleasant surprise.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

Album Title:  God Rest Ye Merry, Jazzmen

Album Artist:  Various Artists

I know this is going to ruffle a few feathers, but I need to get this off my chest once and for all:

I don't like  jazz.

There.  I said it.  Jazz bores me.

Meh.

While there are a few jazz albums I do like - Brubek's Take Five, Vince Guaraldi Trio's Charlie Brown Christmas  ("10/10" - The Houghs) - most of the rest I could happily do without for the remainder of my music-snobbish existence.

(Take that, hipsters.)

Jazz tries to hard.  And honestly, if music's so complex and so intricate that I can't whistle or tap my foot along to it, I really don't see a point in listening.  I don't care how talented you are, Jazz Musicians:  you don't need to try so hard convincing everyone you're awesome.

You ever hear the drummer from AC/DC?  That guy sure as hell doesn't show off, but he still rocks the drums.

Very rarely does any song on here in any way, shape or form resemble the Christmas song it's supposedly emulating.  Some bars you get the basic melody peaking through, but then it becomes drowned in overly-complicated drum fills, sax solos, and piano spasms.

Are these dudes talented?  Absolutely.  But I'd rather have a happy-go-lucky, homeless guy with two teeth slobbering into a harmonica and carrying 'Jingle Bells' than listen to this.

. . . come to think of it, that sounds awesome.  Someone round me up a hobo.  Post haste.

VERDICT:  5/10 - Meh (Tries too hard.  I'm not impressed.)

- SHELVED -

- Brian