Ep. LXVIII: 'Shatner Claus: The Christmas Album' - William Shatner

 Dear God, who's ready for a weird-ass Christmas record. . .

Album Title:  Shatner Claus: The Christmas Album

Album Artist:  William Shatner

You know folks, I hate to say it, but I went out of my way to purchase this album.  I really, really did.

This popped up on Amazon while I was browsing for Holiday vinyl a few years ago, and, curious, I clicked on it.  I had initially figured this was going to be a hokey Shatner album (the guy's definitely made a few), featuring that overly-dramatic delivery in a jarring cadence that's his signature staple, and I had every intention of closing the tab on it and never clicking on the item listing again.

But then I took a gander at the track listing:

I hadn't been expecting this, and was intrigued.  So, I added it to an Amazon list and waited for the price to drop.  A year or so passed, and sadly the album never dipped below $29, which, to me, is far too much to be spending on a single-disc release unless it's some limited edition release.  Fast-forward to a month or so ago, while I was snooping for Holiday vinyl in Radio Wasteland, and I not only came across this LP for $24, but it was also a limited edition green-vinyl pressing.

Christmas was saved.

So, let's talk about the actual tracks on this here record for a bit.  This is kinda what you'd expect from a William Shatner album:  his trademark delivery is on full-blast throughout this album, and if you hate the dramatic Shatner thing (which most of us do), just close this tab and go about your day.  

Be aware, however, that some of these songs, aren't half bad - there's a couple on here that are pretty decent.  It's almost like the songs themselves were recorded in studios entirely separate from Captain Kirk, and then, once they were finished, they just wheeled him on in (he's so old I'm just going off on a limb here and assuming he's in a wheelchair now) and had him talk/sing over the existing songs.

Seriously, this whole album definitely comes across as a confused old man, shuffling to an fro among a recording studio, and every time the sound mixer guy starts playing a new song, Shatner is led up to a microphone to just babble about whatever's on his mind.  Sometimes - and, I really have to stress here, sometimes - he makes a weak attempt at singing along with this song.  Most of the time, however, he's just spurting words into a microphone, that, honestly, can be about anything.

The arrangements on here vary from pretty straight-forward, pretty awesome, Holiday anthems ('Jingle Bells,' featuring the legendary Henry Rollins of Black Flag) to completely bizarre bits of spoken-word weirdness ('Twas the Night Before Christmas.')  And a little of everything in between.

Now, I will be completely honest with you, folks:  this one is not for everyone.  Today, while reviewing this album, Kris was like, "What is this?"  She was not a fan, nor would most folk be, I assume.  But me?  I was raised on the 1989 classic Dr. Demento Presents the Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of All Time.  

For those of you unfamiliar with Dr. Demento, he's a radio personality that threw his name behind a collection of nostalgic, Holiday comedy songs from the '60s to late '80s, featuring heavyweights like Allan Sherman, Spike Jones, Cheech and Chong, Bob and Doug Mackenzie, etc.  It's a ridiculous collection of Christmas songs, and by all rationale they shouldn't be good.  'Nuttin' for Christmas,' 'Santa Claus and His Old Lady,'  - you get the idea.  But despite their low-brow cheesiness, they were hilarious to a ten-year-old kid, who considered them 'edgy' and unlike the Mannheim Steamroller bullshit that was eating up the airwaves at the time.  And now that I'm adult, those songs make it on to my playlists because I can appreciate the point of their humor, despite the cheesy delivery. 

So, does a little over-exaggerated, dramatic Shatner belting out a Christmas album in his late eighties cause me to hipsterly scoff this into the 'Shelved' pile of my Holiday vinyl?

Hell No.  Nobody puts Captain Kirk in the Corner.

VERDICT:  7/10 - Pretty Rad (A comedy classic that may someday see some of its tracks end up on a Dr. Demento-ish Christmas Novelty compilation.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian