Ep. XXXII: 'Christmas Country Style' - Various Artists

Happy Day Off, music lovers.  I had to take a sick day today, so while I rest up here in front of a roaring fire, I believe it's high time for yet another installment of Holiday Jamitude. . . .

Album Title:  Christmas Country Style

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Right out of the gate, Side A Track 1, this compilation kicked me right in the balls.

While I'm a big fan of old 50s - 70s honky tonk and country/western, I have my limits.  Every man has his limits.  For many music aficionados out there (and I consider myself one of those whom has his musical taste buds pretty fine-tuned), I'd say those limits hover around the 'yodeling' neck of the woods.  Yodeling is just. . . well, it's just terrible.  Really terrible.  You hear me, Roy Rogers?  You want to do a campy version of 'Jingle Bells' and really show off your Honky Tonk-ness?  Do so without making me want to rip your throat out with my teeth, and stop the Goddamn yodeling already.

Bad things have happened here.

The yodeling takes this LP down a couple points all by itself, but fortunately it's an isolated incident.  The following songs follow in a far less-jarring manner, but none are real standouts.  To summarize, I think in this specific case, the idiom 'you can't judge an LP by its cover' doesn't quite ring true:  in this case, you can.

I have to admit, when I first picked this record up at Bethesda (59 cents, folks), I raised an eyebrow:  what kind of designer saw this out-of-focus, poorly-framed picture of a random shack in the woods and said, 'BAM - album cover!'  It's really concerning to me that someone was able to pass this photo off to some big-wig record exes during the packaging process.

But, as it turns out, the designer knew exactly what they were doing, because this image perfectly sums up this compilation.

This is definitely 70s country/western, but it's not a boot-stompin' hootenanny that makes me want to celebrate the holiday.  No, sir - not in any way, shape or form.  This is like a run-down shack, deep in the snowy woods, where a pathetic drunk lives;  he's lost his wife, his job, his family, and his dog, and all he does is sit around and drown his sorrows in a bottle of cheap booze.  With a Santa hat on, of course, 'cause it is Christmas.

With a few exceptions (way to try and keep the fire going, Buck Owens), the delivery on some of these standards is pretty slovenly.  They sound like the guys singing them were drunk while recording them, and, because this was recorded in the '70s, they probably were.  I've heard some really great Holiday honky tonk jams in my day, but sadly none of them are featured on this compilation.  Instead, we're treated to a slew of slurry ballads about the Holidays and Jesus (this shack is definitely located in a Red State, folks), and it makes me want to burn the whole shack down to the ground with the Drunk still inside.

Merry Christmas!

VERDICT:  4/10 - Borophyl  ("Baby Jesus - hiccup- and pretty paper. . .")

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