Ep. LX: 'Christmas with Tammy' - Tammy Wynette

 It's time to kick some Yuletide ass, America. . .

Album Title:  Christmas with Tammy

Album Artist:  Tammy Wynette

Any of you guys remember the Transformers?  You probably do, it was a pretty big kid's show back in the early/mid-'80s:  a Saturday morning cartoon about robots from space that 'transform' into various human vehicles, like semi-trucks, fighter jets, and even cassette playing boom-boxes.  Along with G.I. Joe, Thundercats, and He-Man, it defined a generation of young boys, who collected it's action figures like they were holy relics.

I, personally, never got into Transformers as much as some of my friends did growing up - I never got into the whole 'robot/vehicle' thing, as I was more of a sword-wielding hero type, myself - but I could very much acknowledge their level of sheer awesomeness.  So could many television executives, for that matter, since in the wake of Tranformers' success in the TV, toy, and other merchandising industries, a horde of cheap, knock-offs began to invade the TV airwaves and toy aisles.

Laaaaaaaaaame.

Most notorious of these much, much lamer imposters was Hannah Barbara's Go-Bots.  The animation was shittier, the toys were lamer, and the whole thing came across as a poorly-concealed marketing ploy to sell cheap, Asian-made toys.

Kids who played with Go-Bots instead of Transformers were frowned upon in Elementary School society:  one didn't want to associate with one of those kids.

She looks like a math teacher who enjoys giving out detentions.

So why am I bringing all of this up, you may ask?  Well folks, Tammy Wynette - the country singer that's today's artist on the turntable, is the Go-Bot to Loretta Lynn's much more badass Transformer.

She basically plagiarized Loretta's country singing playbook:  she sings the same, the album sounds the same, the song choices are very similar, etc.  Only, in Tammy, you get an older, sleepier, more ho-hum Loretta.  This album is like chloroform - there's none of the former's spunk and sass to balance out all the more retrospective or quieter numbers on this album, and, as such, the whole album sounds like a woman pushing forty, falling asleep on the couch while drinking wine and watching Netflix.

You know, like my wife does.

This albums is boring, and Tammy needs to just stick with standing by her man and leave the Holiday music business to the Transformers.

Not only is Tammy a horrible Christmas album artist, she's also a bad parent:  who has new kids into their forties?  That's how you make people with Downs Syndrome , Tammy.

VERDICT:  4/10 - Borophyll (A much sleepier, older, and more boring version of Loretta Lynn wants to sing you a few Christmas songs.  NEVER pick the Go-Bots over the Transformers, folks.)

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