Ep. XL: 'The Spirit of Christmas' - Various Artists

Okay, gang.  Time for another installment of Yuletide audio appreciation, this time in 'Newly Improved, Full Dimensional Stereo.'

(I smell trouble. . .)


Album Title:  The Spirit of Christmas

Album Artist:  Various Artists

 

I probably don't need to waste my breath with this one, do I.  Look at the frickin' roster, here: Al Martino, The Lettermen, The Roger Wagner Chorale, etc.  It's a Who's Who of Shitty Christmas Singers.  Apparently Tennessee Ernie Ford, Johnny Mathis, Kate Smith, Mitch Miller, and Roger Whitaker had previous engagements.  If not, this is the Christmas album they were born to be on.

Someone left a Christmas Tree knocked over in the snow.  Always a good sign.

That being said, this album is pretty much a pure crap-show, from start to finish.  The artist choices for this compilation offering from Capitol Records - who, I believe, had quite the stable of talent back in the day - is lackluster, with the exception of Bing Crosby, who was probably dead by the time they recorded this anyway, and they posthumously added his track at the last minute just to pad the track listing.  

(Bing would be ashamed of his involvement on this train wreck.)

Not only are the artists ones from the bottom of the Capitol talent barrel, but their song choices are questionable as well.  Yes, there's some recognizable songs on here, but there's a lot of lesser-known carols that hang on the fringes of cultural norms.  While perhaps not generally a huge deal, I suppose, it should go without saying that you should probably pick more mainstream songs if your roster pool is so abysmal.  I mean, come on - "Gesu Bambino?" "Silent Night," sang in German?  Give me a frickin' break.

I'm really trying to rack my brain with regards to what could possibly be the worst song on this album, and it's difficult to say.  Peggy Lee's bizarre, children's/anti-PETA/Put's-the-Lotion-on-its-Skin song, "Don't Forget to Feed the Reindeer" is up there.  Maybe The Letterman's opener, "The Christmas Waltz," which is so boring I contemplated grading papers while listening to it.  In fact, the only saving grace on these albums are those two tracks by the Hollyridge Strings, one per side, where's there's no singing at all.  And these aren't necessarily awesome, they're just not terrible.

So yeah.  Avoid this like you would a leper.  Or Ohio.

VERDICT:  2/10 - Reality TV (You can thank the Hollyridge Strings for the pity point, Spirit of Christmas.  This one's going right back to Salvation Army, where it came from.)

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