Good Baby Jesus, guys. I got a bizarre one for us this evening, make no mistake about that. . .
Album Title: The Spirit of Christmas
Album Artist: Gene Riley
This is another installment from my recently-acquired stack of Dollar Bin treasure from Radio Wasteland a couple weeks ago. Couldn't resist this one, folks. Just look at this guy.
At first glance, I assumed Gene Riley was some kind of Southern Evangelist Preacher from the '70s/'80s. You know, the kind that owns a mega-church somewhere down in Alabama or Florida, where he probably ranted and raved against 'the gays' and the AIDS virus, and people commonly spoke in tongues. He would probably have lived in some opulent mansion, purchased through the ill-gotten contributions of his ignorant but well-meaning parishioners, and inside everything would have been gold-trimmed and pastel-colored, with leopard-print pillows covering plastic-wrapped couches and a large-ass painting of him and his blonde, heavily make-up'd wife hanging in the foyer. And of course said wife would have to have had major substance abuse problems - pills, booze, both - and he would have to have been a closet homosexual with a laundry list of sordid kinks. Then there would have been several criminal charges against him and his wife that led to their ultimate downfall - embezzlement, bribing a senator or two, human trafficking maybe. . .
Honestly, you could create a whole, depressing backstory based on this guy's album cover and sell the rights to Netflix. They'd easily make a show about this.
Anyway.
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| Back when '517' covered the Tri-City area, too. . . |
I had to know more, so I attempted to Wikipedia this Gene Riley dude and figure out who the hell he was, but ultimately came up with nothing. I then turned to Google, and finally came across THIS - the guy was a local preacher from nearby Saginaw, MI. Holy crap. This Holiday album was recorded in Oklahoma City (at Christian World, Inc, in case you were curious - I found their Facebook Page), but this release was party of his local 'Music Ministries.' Talk about random.
So what's this guy sound like, you ask?
Well, have you ever heard your grandfather sing at church? How about in the family station wagon as you ride down an interstate highway? What about while he's sitting on your aunt's couch after too many egg nogs during an Extended Family Christmas? Maybe your grandfather had a booming, baritone voice, slightly slurry and full of spittle, and maybe he didn't really care about carrying a tune all that much. Maybe he was totally content with just remembering all the lyrics to the song, and not passing out from exhaustion before he reached the end of said song.
That's Gene Riley, guys.
Want more? Sure, you got it. This album sounds like it was recorded in a swinger's lounge. It almost sounds like Christian World had a stack of pre-recorded Holiday backing tracks all ready to go - very late-70s/early-80s, I'd guess, based on the chintzy Casio keyboard/synthesizer vibe - and Gene just drove the RV down to Oklahoma one summer with the Mrs. and knocked out an entire Holiday album over the course of an afternoon. Maybe two afternoons, depending on how his meds were working - you don't wanna push yourself too much, you know.
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| Lots of love for Jesus here. . . |
Frankly, I'm surprised a recording studio that goes by the moniker Christian World green-lit the recording of some of these non-religious numbers - 'White Christmas,' 'The Christmas Song,' and 'Jingle Bells' - for this album. I'm not a Christmas Musicologist or anything (though I'm closer to one than most, after all these years), but I don't think there's any secret, religious meaning to any of these secular songs. Pretty sure 'White Christmas' is about snow.
There's not a whole hell of a lot to say about this album, honestly. The backing tracks are all pre-recorded, and vary between cheesy upbeat tracks and overly-dramatic slow ones - usually they do a mediocre job at pairing with his voice, but sometimes they're so out of sync with his vocals that it's just, well, downright hilarious. I think the best tracks on this album are the ones those secular ones where he can unbutton his cardigan sweater a button or two and really cut loose, as you know he's gonna take the religious ones super seriously. With the upbeat numbers like 'Jingle Bells,' you can almost picture him doing that awkward, fat, old white guy shuffle in the sound booth while he sings it. Which is just. . . awesome to picture in your head while listening to this.
Ultimately, I gotta sa, good ol' Gene trying to hit some of the high notes in these songs is definitely one of my favorite things about this album. You think he'd shy away from them when they pop up throughout the album, seeing how he has NO chance of even coming close to them, but NOPE - he goes all in with his singing. Caution has been completely thrown to the wind here. I mean, sometimes he kicks up his voice an entire octave or two without the need to, just so he can attempt to hit those high notes. And of course he doesn't. What's funny - and, admittedly, somewhat respectable - is that he could've taken the safe route on these numbers, but he's not having any of that. Like Custer at Little Big Horn, folks.
VERDICT: 3/10 - Seriously? (This is the Christmas album your church-going grandfather would have recorded if given the chance. It's horrible, for sure, but in that old-guy-not-giving-any-f***s sorta way. . . which definitely gives him a couple pity points.)
- SHELVED -
- Brian
