Ep. CXXIV: "Winter Wonderland" - Various Artists

A true behemoth of a Holiday album awaits thee, music-lovers. Strap yourself in. . .

Album Title:  Winter Wonderland

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Kids, I've had this double-LP release on my list for years.

Years.

I took one look at the track list on this this thing and realized it wasn't something that could be realistically passed up. Alas, seeing how it was out of print I wasn't thrilled with paying Amazon's exuberant, post-Covid price. Eventually, over the summer, it dipped down to like $22 and I pulled the trigger on it. Sadly it's not pressed on colored vinyl - which would have been a nice, if not trivial, bonus.

Considering most of the songs on here are well-known, I figured the easiest thing to do here is lean hard into those tracks on this album that aren't seasonal favorites. I mean, at this point in the grand scheme of things, what more am I going to say about Brenda Lee's 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree?' Who the hell am I to comment on something like that? 

Some random guy dying on some random hill in some obscure corner of the World Wide Web, that's who. 

So, taking this into consideration, I'm going to break each of these four sides down one at a time and introduce you to some of the Holiday jams on here that you may or may not have heard. . .

The inner record sleeves for this release are pretty fancy, too.

Disc 1, Side A.

They come out of the gate strong with the first two songs, no question there. But Track 3 pumps the brakes pretty damn fast. This whole compilation is definitely themed, showcasing Christmas standards from the 40's - 60's. You have a whole splattering of familiar faces (looking at the track listing on these four sides, you can see who I'm talking about), but then you're presented with a handful of 'filler' artists that were probably label rank-and-file back in the day. Paul Anka is one of these guys.

Paul himself doesn't sound all that bad (for a '50s teen idol, I guess), but his backup singers - who introduce 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' and then make weird little appearances throughout the following minutes - are really, really bad. You know that old elementary school taunt/chant, "So-and-so and so-and-so/in a tree/K-I-S-S-I-N-G"? That's essentially their delivery, except it sounds like the whole gaggle of hens got into a box of Franzia and had their way with it.

Billy Fury - who, honestly, sounds like he should be a G.I. Joe instead of a '50's crooner - isn't one I usually associate with Christmas, but 'My Christmas Prayer' is decent. I can't find any fault in it, really, but I've never heard this song before and I'm pretty sure I know why: this is 97% '50s teen ballad and 3% Christmas. If it weren't for the jingle bells playing softly in the background, and maybe half a dozen mentions of 'Christmas' and 'Snow' in the lyrics, you wouldn't think this was a Christmas song. If you were driving around in your car and this was in the background, you'd probably never know.

'Blue Christmas' wraps up the end of Side A, but for whatever f***ing reason the geniuses behind this compilation decided to pass on the quintessential version done by Elvis, opting instead for Bobby Vee. Bobby is to Elvis as The Chad Mitchell Trio are to Bob Dylan. 'Are they both folk artists?'  Yeah, sure. But one of them is Bob frickin' Dylan, and the others can be found collecting dust in your local Goodwill. While the arrangement itself isn't bad objectively, whoever recorded this dual-layered Bobby's vocals terribly, so it sounds like he's singing with his twin instead of just boosting his own vocals. 

So like The Proclaimers, if you will. But only they're a Chad Mitchell Trio-tier act covering a Holiday staple done by someone far superior.

Disc 1, Side B:

Every song on this side is a  Holiday banger. Every. Last. One. You've heard 'em all, they're great.

Move along, folks.

Disc 2, Side C:

This one defies all rational thought: who in their right mind would include 'Rockin' Robin'' on a Holiday album?  

When I first spotted this on the track list, I thought to myself, "Well, maybe they recorded an alternate version, where the lyrics are adjusted slightly to make it Christmas-y. And maybe they added jingle bells or something."

Nope. 

It's the same version you've heard your entire life. Did they throw it in there just because the rest of the album is mostly '50s music?  I didn't know folks could do that, just throw whatever songs you want onto a Holiday compilation.  

I really like Led Zeppelin's 'Good Times, Bad Times' but I'm NOT about to dump it into one of my Holiday playlists. Good f***ing Lord.

Pat Boone has never been one of my favorites, but his version of 'Here Comes Santa Claus' is easily over-looked. Not stupendous, but meh - it's unoffensive filler that's easily overlooked if not short in duration.

Bobby Vee closes out yet another Side with yet another lackluster version of a song done soooo much better by so many other performers in existence. It boggles the mind why the producers of this compilation leaned so hard into this guy.

Seriously. They couldn't pull the trigger on another Sinatra or Bing song? Those guys are BOTH already in this compilation, and their versions are leaps and bounds above this one.

Disc 2, Side D:

Again, another side of Christmas classics (thank God.) Just take a gander at the track listing here - each one of those is a song you know every note to, it's ingrained in your soul at this point. I don't have a single complaint on this side either.

So, after listening to four sides of this jam-packed, Holiday compilation, I'm not regretting this purchase at all. Odd music selections aside - and damn, some of those were really, really weird - I will give the producers props for creating a compilation that flows incredibly well. This era in Christmas music was perfectly captured in this release, and, while some of it could have definitely been stricken in favor of other (better) versions, this stands as worthy addition to one's Holiday collection.

. . . . seriously, though - 'Rockin' Robin.'  I mean, c'mon.

VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome (A cavalcade of awesome with a sprinkling of lackluster, Holiday bullshit thrown in for good measure. This compilation could have trimmed off the fat and been whittled down to one record and it would have easily been a 10.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian